When certain people come to visit, I lose my Banana. And it is so frustrating that it can ruin an entire week for me.
My Banana is strong, adventurous, funny, cute, independent, lively. When we are out and about, people look at the stroller and say, wow! Her eyes are so bright! She is so awake! She is ready to roll! She is so social! Banana smiles and waves at strangers. Banana says come and get me and runs away laughing with her diaper off, then stops and says TUSHY! In music class, Banana jumps and spins and follows the teacher marching around the room.
This is my Banana.
When certain people come over, I see another Banana. This banana is whiny, and needy, and sleepy. Not for me, for the person who is visiting. Suddenly, Banana needs help. Suddenly, she can’t climb on this thing she climbs on every day. She needs a hug right now. She needs this or that, she neeeeds it, and she cries. She needs you to hold her. She needs you to hold her hand when she does steps she does every day by herself. That tiny fall she just took, she needs you to cuddle and snuggle and rock the pain away. If the visitor comes to music class, Banana sits in his/her lap, she rubs her eyes, she might pick up an instrument but she comes right back and she certainly doesn’t jump and spin.
WHO IS THIS BANANA?
Why does my Banana feel the need to be weak and sleepy and needy to get affection from certain people?
For me, I say, “Can I have a hug?” and she giggles and runs away, wanting me to chase her, grab her, tickle tickle tickle and hug. When certain people are around, she is so whiny, she needs to be held constantly or she screams.
I don’t want my girl to grow up thinking she has to be weak to get affection. She has to be needy to be loved.
I had a conversation with my visitor today about it. About how the Banana he/she is seeing is not the Banana I know. The visitor said Banana seemed fine on the visit. I said, that’s because she is fine. But she is better than this. She is sparkly. She is a blaze of light. You keep telling me how tired she looks, but she is not tired. She is acting tired and I don’t know why. She is the embodiment of energy.
Where is my Banana?
I want to accept all parts of her personality but this part I find very hard to accept. The part that acts weak, helpless, needy, tired in order to get love and affection.
My strong girl becomes a damsel in distress. And I can’t take it!! Where did she learn this???