Today was a crazy day full of lots of … whatever. Tantrums, music class, attempt at going to the pool, play ground, meals, no more sippy cups, stealing toys, play date.
After bath I took Banana out of the tub, wrapped her in a towel, then took Apple out of the tub. While I was drying him off, I heard water splash, and turned to see Banana next to the toilet with her leg up like a dog peeing on a hydrant! “[Banana] peeing!”
“Oh, did Banana pee?”
me: “Yes, Apple, we’ll do lotion in a minute.”
Apple: “Robot! Lotion! Robot !!!!!” (toy robot is sitting on the toilet during bath)
me: “Apple please stop stepping in the pee. Mommy has to clean up the pee. First mommy is going to put on diapers on you guys and then mommy is going to – stop stepping in the pee, please, Apple. Apple, step back-“
me: “Guys just let me put a diaper on-“
Banana: NOO! (runs to the bathroom door, naked tush and all)
me: (puts diaper on Apple, puts diaper on reluctant Banana who is banging on the bathroom door, turns around) “Apple please don’t step in the pee! Mommy needs to clean up the pee!”
I grab the disinfecting wipes and start wiping up the pee, while Apple tries to reach over me to grab the body lotion that is on the back of the toilet, and steps into the pee again. I am wiping the kids legs and feet with toilet paper and putting a huge glob of lotion on their bellies (“Rub in the lotion guys!”) to distract them while I clean up the pee… and suddenly Apple runs out of the bathroom,
Apple: “BOTTLES! BOTTLES!”
me: “yes honey, mommy is just cleaning up the pee, please be patient.”
Banana: “Lotion! More lotion!”
me: “honey what happened to the lotion on your belly, did you rub it in” (not even watching)
me: “mommy needs to wash mommy’s hands. and comb your hair.”
I manage to comb Banana’s hair as they run into their room and I hand out the bottles, put them in their chairs, and rub in the glob of lotion that is still on their bellies. I realize Apple’s hair isn’t combed and comb his hair while he lies in the chair drinking his bottle.
Oh and the whole time I am laughing hysterically.
Yes, I do want more of these.