Today I went to a mommy happy hour at a German biergarten. I get there and see five women, four of whom I have no idea who they are. So we do introductions, and some things seem off.
- They don’t know who I am… Usually people in our mommy club at least recognize my name because I post so often to the listserv, that and I have twins so I stand out. But, okay, I am not egotistical to think everyone knows me.
- I don’t recognize their names, and our listserv is pretty active. I knew there was at least one new person on the listserv so I thought maybe a bunch of other people joined and just hadn’t introduced themselves.
- I told one of the women the babies were born early, and she said “Oh but they’re like November sized now, right” and I was like “uh I guess…?”
- The women marveled at how “alert” Apple was.
- The one other person I knew mentioned her baby’s birthday was in November (I already knew that, because her baby was born a week past her due date at the end of October), and one of the other women said her baby was also born in November.
Finally, at some point, I said – are you the November mommy group? And they were all like, yes… I said, OH! We are the October mommy group!
Turns out we had all scheduled our mommy happy hours at the same time and place.
It’s not SO surprising because there aren’t a lot of places in the area that can accommodate strollers in the numbers that these happy hours tend to generate.
I really love my mommy club. I can’t express how important this has become to me. Last week I was feeling low and wanted to make sure I had plans this week, so I posted on the listserv that I was going to be at such-and-such place at such-and-such time (planned it for yesterday), and 5 other moms showed up to hang out. It was awesome. And the place I chose was 2 blocks from home and I still got all those people to come. I also happen to like pretty much everyone, and we all have cute babies, and share experiences and products and whatever. Many of them have come to the breastfeeding group I go to and have even seen me tandem nurse the babies, which is hilarious. We’ve seen each other’s boobs, either in the group or in public at the cafes.
It’s so much easier to be a member of the mommy club than to try to make plans with individuals. Everyone has infants so everyone is flaky. For a while at the beginning I was trying to make plans with my one friend that we already had when we moved here, but she is dealing with her own issues and it became impossible to meet her. And if I have plans with someone and they fall through, I tend not to go out, and not going out is BAD.
Sometimes I wonder if the babies aren’t getting enough stimulation because I’m going out to make sure they are napping. Or maybe we are making some bad sleeping habits. The thing is, they aren’t napping, and are therefore becoming extremely cranky. I need them to nap. And if going out makes them nap, as well as helps me feel human, I guess it’s a win-win. Although, I think if I had better fortitude I would stay home and try to make them learn how to nap. But I don’t. So we’re going out. But then I wonder if they’re playing enough, am I doing enough for their brains, or just making them sleep all the time and then having them follow me around the house when I do laundry or whatever.
UGH I CANNOT WORRY ABOUT THAT SO MUCH.
Anyway, the point is, I love the mommy group, where mommy brains collide.