I suppose this will be my 5mo update even though I haven’t taken the 5mo pics yet.
- Tummy time, at first, though she can’t seem to stay on her back anyway, if I put her on the floor she immediately rolls (and can’t roll back yet)
- Jumping in the doorway bouncer
- Chewing on the So.ph.ie the Gir.affe’s legs
- Snuggles and hugs and kisses
- Squishing her own belly when she’s naked
- Spinning around in place during tummy time to reach toys
- Her reflection in the mirror or taking selfies on the phone
- Reading books / trying to grab the pictures
- Throwing toys off of tables and other stuff
- Being in the carrier
- Chatting and singing
- Lying on the floor of the bathroom during my shower
- Eating every 2 hours all day
- Being pulled up into sit or stand
- Trying to sit by herself
- Big brother and sister <3 <3 <3
- Her toes
- Tummy time, eventually
- Loud sudden sounds
- Random people, not clear who she won’t like and who she will
- Watching the mobile in her crib by herself while I fill the humidifier
- Not being fed immediately after waking
- When I try to put her in the carrier on my back
- When the giraffe falls or the legs don’t get into her mouth the way she wants them to
- Napping in the car seat
- Napping in general
- Going more than 2 hours without eating during the day
Last month I felt like Smushy has been stingy with her laughs but lately she has started laughing more. I don’t know why it used to be so hard to get her to laugh but she is laughing now. Thank goodness! I need that cute little laugh. There’s nothing like a baby laugh to put you in a good mood again.
Poor Smush is not sleeping enough and therefore mommy isn’t getting enough of a break and I am starting to reach a breaking point. First of all, she went from 1 wake-up per night that was getting shorter and shorter (45min – sometimes even less – down from 60) to 2 maybe even 3 wake ups per night that are lasting a full hour again. I know I shouldn’t complain but if I put her to bed at 7:30 and she wakes up at 8:30 and then 1 and then 4 and then 7 for the day, that is annoying, and I am not getting any sleep, remember those wake-ups are starting to take a full hour again. So I’m sleeping in 2hour (or less) stints throughout the night and I am exhausted.
Plus she isn’t doing so great at the naps. I can sort of reliably get her down for a nap at around 10 but it’s only an hour to an hour and a half. And then the rest of the day is a toss up. That is not enough of a break from baby. Today I managed to get her down for one nap. Usually during a baby nap I would do something for myself but because we had to run errands I ended up using the nap time to do necessary online purchases and fill out the form for the sleep consultant, oh yes and use the bathroom finally, and then she woke up.
And I looked at the sleep consultant’s website and it said that babies this age should be getting at least 14 hours of sleep and Smushy has gotten 11 hours out of the last 24. That’s clearly not enough. I don’t know what to do.
I was crying last night because I am so stressed I’m starting to break things in anger (broke my favorite spatula when it wasn’t doing what I wanted it to do, I pushed down on the pan too hard in frustration and the thing snapped off, obviously I am THE HULK) and also do some of my other more worrying stress behaviors.
So even though I don’t feel the sleep situation is THAT BAD … Obviously I need help. Somehow. At first I thought maybe her sleep disruptions were increasing because of a growth spurt or l.ea.p wee.k but it’s been weeks now. So maybe if we can get her to sleep again, or only have 1 wake up, my life would be better.
On top of this you know I still have the bigger kids to take care of. And on top of just general household maintenance we realized the other day that we have been spending most Shabbats alone and that no social meals were getting lined up … and realized we hadn’t hosted in a while, so now we are kind of on a hosting blitz, this Shabbat will be the third in a row for hosting. Maybe we will start getting invites soon. Even if we don’t host people, inviting people to come to our house (and being turned down for logistical issues) is basically like signalling everyone we are back on the circuit and would like to make plans again.
AND on top of this my husband was out of town last week and my mom came, which was great, and he goes out of town again in March and my SIL was SUPPOSED to come but she had to cancel and now I have lined up babysitters to help me in the evenings because dinner time is often just a chaotic disaster on a good day.
Breathe breathe breathe.
And like I said, just general maintenance.
Sometimes I have this fantasy of having a whooooole bunch of kids. And then I think OY … I have 3. This is enough. I am up to my eyes in pee and poo and laundry and discarded food and stress. Even though I love everything that’s happening and I am so happy and so lucky, it is still HARD to run everything smoothly around here! My cousin has 6 kids! Do they all bathe every day?!?! Because my 3 do not!
I have heard the transition from 2 to 3 is the hardest transition because for the first time you are outnumbered. I have heard from many people who have more than 3 kids that after 3 it’s all like whatever man.
I haven’t lost a pound since delivery, still. So that’s frustrating. Here is my 20 week side by side.
I almost didn’t post it because it looks like I am gaining weight. I can’t tell. Certainly not losing it. I may have gained a pound. I think the angle on this image is off on that last pic but I don’t know, I’m not redoing it. I’m keeping it real here, I’m going to keep taking these pictures even if I start gaining. I think. Maybe. Or maybe I’ll keep making these collages but feel embarrassed and hide them.
Otherwise I think I am doing okay despite the exhaustion and starting to break down kind of semi regularly but my husband assures me if I sleep more it will be better. On a good night I’m getting 5 fractured hours but on a bad night it is 4 or less. So yeah. And since Smushy doesn’t take reliable naps I can’t really nap either. So I have a lot of faith in the sleep consultant. Please make my life better. Please fix it. I know I shouldn’t nurse to sleep but she’s so snuggly and I love that. But if that’s what’s making her wake up more often then it has to go.
I’ve talked to my OB and my endo about why is it my baby is still nursing every 2 hours like a newborn. Could it be my supply isn’t great? They’re both like, look at your chunky baby, she is fine. And I say yes, because she’s eating every 2 hours. But if I don’t feed her every 2 hours, would she be fine? Maybe there’s not much there at each meal? Maybe there’s no answer to this question, because I do feed her every 2 hours. It’s okay, thank Gd I like nursing, she is so cute and holds my hand while her eyes roll back and she’s like Yuuuuummmm.
So this is life with a 5mo old and 3.5yr old twins. I haven’t updated about E&N in a while. Maybe I will do that … but not now … it is time for a short tv show and then BED for however long that lasts.