My baby is so old.
She’s 18 months but she seems like a 2 year old. She speaks in full sentences. “Uh oh! The granola bar fell over here,” is what I heard from the back seat yesterday. She can do things my big kids could not do at this age, like she learned how to use a scooter after a few minutes of instruction, and is trying to pedal a small bike. She uses fork and spoon, can eat soup and yogurt like a big kid. She’s trying to teach herself her colors.
My big kid! When did that happen?!
- Talking all the time
- Learning to do anything that the big kids are doing
- Singing songs, making up new songs
- Talking to the toys, having the toys talk to each other, having toys kiss each other haha
- Being carried a lot everywhere still! 🙂
- Running away at nap time
- Sharing my food, always suspicious I’m having secret chocolate
- Nursing still 🙂
- Going down the slide over and over and over again
- Swinging at the indoor gym
- Watching movies with me during lunch time (just finished F.in.din.g D.or.y)
- Brushing her teeth with the big kids
- Taking off her shirt by herself, and trying to put it back on
- Putting things on her head to play peek a boo
- Petting the cats, who actually let her do it, huge shock to me!
- Play d.oh and building towers with blocks
- Climbing everywhere
- Reading books
- Putting “ee” at the end of every word even when it doesn’t make much sense “Book-ee” “Pick-ee up-ee” “Fall down-ee”
- ….I’m not really sure what she dislikes? Going to the doctor? This is one of the happiest kids.
- When someone other than me or my husband wipes her nose, that’s one.
I love that she is still nursing. Just first thing in the morning and bedtime now. And sometimes if she’s hungry and cranky when we are out I’ll offer to nurse. And at the pool, this is routine now, to nurse while the big kids are swimming.
Of course, while she’s nursing, she is flopping around and generally being enormous. This morning I realized that her entire body used to be the length of what is now just her head and torso. I was holding her while nursing, she likes to still nurse across my body like she always has since she was a newborn, and her legs! legs everywhere! so much leg flopping! Sometimes she ends up turning almost all the way around while still attached to me, it’s pretty crazy.
I love being her mommy and so glad I am getting to experience what it’s like to have one kid at a time. Buuuuuttttttt….. I am sort of ready for her to go to school, because she has been down to one nap for a while, and most of what I do is take her to the grocery store … I am having a little bit of a crisis about running errands a billion times a week and not doing much else. I’ve started cutting down on the number of times I go to the grocery store (1-2x per week! down from 3-4!) so that I can spend time doing other things, like more classes with her, or just going to the play ground, or play dates, or something.
When Apple and Banana were little, we used to do a fun activity in the morning, then nap, then sometimes grocery store or errand running in the afternoon. That is how I managed to do something fun with them almost every day. But with our current pick up and drop off schedule, I can’t do afternoon errands, so it is only morning errands, which means that sometimes our entire day revolves around the grocery store, which honestly sucks. So I am trying to balance that.
But still, with our schedule, and my desperate need for her to take that nap, I have almost no social life whatsoever. I need her to take that nap because it is the only break I get from the time I wake up until the kids go to bed, and I can’t ruin that nap because she fell asleep on the way back from someone’s house or from the children’s museum. So in order to get that nap time, I have limited our activities, which means I almost don’t talk to any adults all day all week. This is hard on me, too. There’s no perfect solution but I think nap is better than no nap, generally.
I’m feeling clear headed lately in a way I haven’t in a while. I didn’t realize the fog until I felt it clearing. Really only the last two months have I felt a clearing. And I think that clearing is what led to the crisis, because suddenly I feel like I can See, and I can See that I’m not doing Anything besides maintenance. I was so bogged down in the maintenance I couldn’t see it. But now I’m ready for a Project for Sanity.
I’m making plans with friends in the evening every once in a while. I’m planning our garden. I’m planning other activities during the day. I’m trying to answer my emails in a timely fashion. We’ll see how this goes.
At this point, with the big kids, we were starting to try for #3. I think right now I am ready to focus on what we already have going on, try to feel above water on all of what’s happening in our current household. I think this is enough busyness for any stay at home parent. People are asking me to become involved in things – in school or synagogue or whatever. And I’m like, I’ll let you know when I can breathe again. Still just starting to see through the fog, haven’t felt like I am reliable yet even for myself let alone others…
Postpartum body, well, let’s just say, nothing new to report. Which I guess is good in a sense, right? …
So there we are, 18 months, I can’t believe it. I really should do updates on the big kids, but it is hard enough getting these updates, I don’t know. Crazy crazy times.